Khloe Kardashian finally finds someone with a sneer to match her own! Like pink eye, sometimes true love only take 6 weeks to develop.

Khloe Kardashian can’t keep her ample mug out of the papers – not because it’s physically impossible but because Khloe’s in love!

Like big sis’ Kim, soon-to-be-dumped Khloe is following in her father Robert Kardashian’s footsteps of extracting low-octane publicity from innocent until proven guilty professional athletes like up and coming NBA star, Lamar Odon.

“It’s a win-win,” according to Lamar Odon’s sneering publicist, Kato Kaelin.

“It’s a match made in heaven, unless you don’t believe in hell,” shares Kaelin who lives on Lamar’s sumptuous compound (in the guest house of course!).

“The fact that Khloe’s face affects the tide only makes their walks on the beach that much more memorable.”

What a stellar month it’s been for the Kardi’s – Kourtney’s pregnant, Khloe’s getting hitched after only 6 weeks of dating and oldest Kim finally got to audition her hootch up close and personal before highly flaccid sex mogul Hugh Hefner.

“No one in this family is damaged or starving for attention by doing desperate things like getting pregnant out of wedlock or married to a total stranger,” assures mother Kris Kardashian.

“Look at me. I have 6 beautiful kids, a lovely home, I make money like a pimp off my ho-bag daughters and I have a husband with a facelift and eyebrows that any woman would kill for! What more could any parasitic woman living in L.A. want?”

Not much Kris with a K,  not much.

Klass act Kris Kardashian gets all her motherly advice from E! True Hollywood Stories, Sharon Osbourne and Heidi Fleiss.

Dead OJ Simpson Defense Attorney Robert Kardashian left behind a free OJ and a generation of reality TV stars for Americans to embrace and emulate. For that we say, 'enjoy your dirt nap, sir.'

The cult of personality. Where would Hollyweird be without it? A virtual cavalcade of lunatics, space cadets and reptilian-brained numbskulls all marching their way towards Hollywood and Vine to become STARS or at the very least their own planet. Their dedicated militarism is only superceded by their awe-inspiring denial of reality or other people’s human needs.

I can fly! I am a god! I am as big as a house! There are just some of the heartfelt cries heard from such luminous Hollywood bodies as John Revolting, Tom “I don’t wrestle other men behind closed doors” Cruise and Kirstie “Fat Actress” Alley.

Look who's talking

Tom Cruise fakes own orgasm, hetero audience approves

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your drive-thru order

Can we talk?

Look Who’s Laughing? Hyper-spastics teens raised on corn-syrup, anti-psychotic drugs with a self-inflicted joy-stick shoved up their ass. Lovely.

“I have the attention span of a gnat with the stamina of a mule and the intellectual curiosity of a goat. Wow, can I eat this? I wonder what it tastes like, phhhrrrt. I’m still hungry, fat and stupid.”

Kids have become creepy. Sorry but My Sweet 16, American Idol, Superbad and childhood obesity is enough to make anyone jump out of a window to get away from them.

They have discriminating taste and they should be the ones to dictate what comedy gold is mined for American audiences. Fuck the minorities of adults who read! With all the good news these days, they are the last cognizent people who need entertainment. Besides, they have the Pink Panther Deux – Taking a Dump on Peter Seller’s Grave and Bedtime Stories – How to Become a Corporate Shill in Less than a Decade.

Quality does matter. Originality does matter.

Enough with the “Dude, I can’t stop farting, belching, fucking.”

“What happens in Vegas spreads in Vegas” Where’d that missing corpse go! Bachelor Party XIX – Ugly White Guys Get Laid!”  “I’ve fallen and I can’t get laid” “These stupid bitches really like me” “whoops, I got her pregnant”, “Ha, ha ha I smoke to much pot” “watch me light my balls on fire: The Movie”

“High Concept: “Whoops, I forgot to loose my virginity”, “Whoops I need to loose my virginity” “Whoops, Let’s go to white castle and get laid but first let’s smoke some weed and light our balls on fire” comedies.

THEY ALL SUCK, THEY ARE NOT FUNNY AND THE PEOPLE WHO STAR, MAKE, GO TO THESE FILMS ARE ALL ASSHOLES AND WHY WE ARE ALL GOING DOWN THE SHITTER.

It’s a theory but it’s based on cultural morays. And this trend is RETARDED, EMPTY VILE AND OFFENSIVE.

It renders meaninglessness and leaves a wake of depression and destructive behavior. But good or bad, its not funny. Says me. I wouldn’t think this shit was funny if I were 11, 12 or 13. Pot humor: Cheech and Chong. Getting laid: Animal House. Politically Incorrect: Caddyshack, hell put Porky’s in there. A little crude, a little dude is fine. But what we have here is a dead shark. There must be intelligence, wit, charm lurking in any comedy.

I don’t care what’s popular and who’s making the money. The end does not justify the means. Hollywood is starved for new talent. The old guard needs to be dethroned. The problem is the greenlighters are too scared to make good movies, they make safe movies. Easy movies. There are good writers out there but their scripts get past because they are too intelligent, too different. and because audiences won’t buy it.