Yes we have no bananas

The cult of personality. Where would Hollyweird be without it? A virtual cavalcade of lunatics, space cadets and reptilian-brained numbskulls all marching their way towards Hollywood and Vine to become STARS or at the very least their own planet. Their dedicated militarism is only superceded by their awe-inspiring denial of reality or other people’s human needs.

I can fly! I am a god! I am as big as a house! There are just some of the heartfelt cries heard from such luminous Hollywood bodies as John Revolting, Tom “I don’t wrestle other men behind closed doors” Cruise and Kirstie “Fat Actress” Alley.

Look who's talking

Tom Cruise fakes own orgasm, hetero audience approves

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your drive-thru order